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I am not writing this note as your enemy
Nor do I write to you as a friend
Hidden truths unveiled for you
Not seen with eyes of your own unless, until… I dare press ‘send’

I love a man who loves you, calls you his own
Yet he brings to me his passion and burning desire
I should say no and turn him away
But I’m defeated by weakness, and here is where the stakes go higher

I’m not writing this to cause you sorrow
For I myself have been there too, oblivious and naive
The other woman does not matter without face or name
But truths find their way, regardless of what you choose to believe

I need him in a way that you do not
My own heartbreak, loneliness and utter despair
All lead me to his smile and charming ways
For him, I leave my groom, the man I married, for someone I must share

There is no logic, no excuse, no simple reason
Just two marriages teetering, living a lie
And our children on the cusp of marital doom
Betrayal exposed by my fingertips, and I cannot justly explain why

Maybe he appeared at the right moment, as I did for him
We selfishly harbor a secret love meant just for us
What good could come from revealing all, I wonder
There really is nothing to gain, so nothing to discuss

I write to you as your enemy and as your friend
I am your worst pain, unknown dormant in your gut
And I note that blissful, content lives could suddenly halt,
If my conscience should win, because no longer can I stay shut

But his arms hold me close, keeping me strong
His love nourishing my mind, my heart, my soul
My legs firm and tight around his torso
Together we are unleashed, we are brazen, we are whole

Intimate fantasies compelled into our reality
Without harm to anyone if kept discreet
So… I shall keep this secret… and keep it forever
And you shall never read these words, for it is with shame that I now press ‘delete.’

 

YES

The seasons of love.
They come and they go.
They bid farewell to a torn heart.
Then usher in one that is new and robust.
One that is primed for a million tomorrows.

A life together. United.
The romance. The journey.
Brand new. Sweet and plentiful.
Magical nights under the stars.
Breathless. Weightless.
I fall in love. Again.

Eager. Awakened.
My unnerving anticipation.
Wondering. Can it be?
Is he the one?
Yes. I imagine he is.
Each and every time.

The new season quietly goes. As it does.
Brought me new joy.
New promise.
Fulfilled desires.
Re-opened a closed heart.
Healed the hurt. Broke down the wall.

Daily, I spoke of him.
I yearned for him.
I reached for him.
His power I denied. I discounted.
Clearly, he won.
He led me. Drew me in.
Helplessly, I stayed.
I stayed for him.
I stayed for me.
Thought it was to be.
I cried when he had proven me wrong.

Another season long gone.
The wind bellows.
I’m alone. But not done.
Just like the tree without its leaves. Bare.
Awaiting the new season.
Awaiting new leaves.
I look up. I command the heavens.
Through gray skies above.
Screaming aloud. In desperate wails.
What of the next time?
When is my season?
When is it promised?

You, whom I don’t yet know.
I ask of you.
May I stand beside you?
Will you want me there?
To love you. To love me?
To have and to hold?
To call me your wife. Make me family.
Will you cherish me? Honor me?
Tell me. So I will know.
Finally. That your love is true.

Please ask me.
So I won’t be lost still.
Beg me. Dare me to say it.
Take my hand, my heart.
Take all my tomorrows.
With your loyalty. Imbued in the ring.
The ring you choose for me.
I promise. I swear.
I will not waste a breath.
When I look at you. Longingly.
Through happy tears of mine.
With a song in my soul.
Intent in my eyes.
To you I shall whisper.
“YES.”